In the old days the idea was that if A annoyed B, they sorted it out among themselves. Now, it is increasingly likely that B will accuse A of being a homophobe or a racist or some other kind of oppressor. Yesterday a woman I’d met only sixty seconds earlier accused me of talking like a man, adding that at her age, she didn’t have to put up with that any more. It hurt.

I may have been guilty as charged, but still, I think her response was inappropriate. The issue is what lawyers call the principle of proportionality. When B brings identity groups into the discussion, a tussle of one against another becomes a battle of millions against millions. In cases of genuine oppression, the big battle may be needed, but most of the time, day to day, that scale of response is disproportionate. It’s like sentencing Jean Valjean to five years for stealing a loaf of bread. It’s like pulling out a gun to settle a fistfight.

[7 February 2019]